I hope you never see this

It hurts. That’s all I keep saying because every time I try to say something else, it turns into “I’m sorry.” It’s like choking up tar. “I’m” *cough* “sorry.” It burns my tongue coming up but I don’t know what else to say. I’m not an angry person but when I feel emotional pain, it spans my whole body. My head pulsates. My eyes water. My throat is incapable of breathing. My chest feels like its caving in on itself. My stomach feels like the world is ending. But the world isn’t ending. My make believe world is the only thing that ended. The end of cartoons and cuddles. The end of the future I thought we both wanted. But I guess that was just a me thing, huh?

I hope you’re safe. I hope you’re healing, the way I’m not...yet. I wish we ended on more civil terms. I wish I got to fully whole-heartedly say goodbye. But I don’t owe you that. And you don’t owe me closure. And that’s okay. It’ll be okay